I remember the day I went into labor with Greyson, it was a Sunday and I woke up at 5:30 am with contractions. I was so ready to get the baby out! I was very restless and when I realized my contractions were very far apart I decided we should go to church. Ron just had a deer in the headlight look most the day and was okay with doing whatever I thought was a good idea. We took a walk after church and then we came home and I cleaned the house, I even vacuumed (I love to clean, seriously).Finally, at about 5 pm I decided we should go into the hospital and I labored ALL night until at a few minutes before 7 am our little boy was born. It was such an experience. Exhausting, frightening and exhilarating all rolled together. I remember thinking as we loaded Greyson into the car the first time to take him home "So, their really just going to let us take this kid, I have no idea what I'm doing"For a long time I did not consider giving birth and pregnancy as a parallel to adopting at all but the more I think about it the more similarities I see.
While I don't have to Physically labor for Charlie we have labored and labored to get him home. Paperwork, fingerprints, meetings, travel etc. And to think that I thought 9 months was such a long time to meet my baby. It pales in comparison to the 3 1/2 yrs we have waited to bring Charlie home. The experience has been exhausting, frightening and exhilarating as well. And today as I was cleaning out my garage (the last thing on my long to do list) a neighbor walked by and said "Oh Boy, your nesting!" And it made me laugh because I realized I was and have been since we have been home from the first trip. The same thought crosses my mind tonight " I can't believe they are going to hand this kid over to us, we don't even speak his language, I have no idea what to do."
Since I am in such a reminiscent mood today and it is Passion Week, I was also thinking about the time when I was holding Greyson, late at night during a feeding and I just started to cry. I cried because after having my own child and realizing just how much I love him, I thought of Jesus. Jesus, such a sweet name. Son of God, The Darling of Heaven, Holy and Blameless...Crucified. How did God do it? Why did God do it? I looked at Greyson, his perfect little face all snuggled up and I wondered how any parent could send their son to be killed through a horrible death. I wouldn't do it, ever. Never mind that there are some really worthy and great people on this earth that some might be considered worth dying for but what about the awful people. What about those who hurt others and are unlovable? Send your perfect child to die in their place.? Inconceivable and yet He did.
I think about that type of love, the kind that puts you first, the kind that dies so you can live and I am so humbled. I am so grateful to The Father for giving us His Son and I am overwhelmed by Jesus who came for us, willingly. He took on human form to experience all that we go through and to overcome death. By doing this not only did He become our Savior but He became relatable. It is so encouraging to know I have a heavenly Father who can relate to me and whatever I am going through. Even better that He is bigger than the situations we face and more than willing and able to walk through them with us. I love Him and I am so excited to start my week out tomorrow celebrating His triumphant Life and then have Him walk with me the rest of this big week.
Below I included some pictures of Charlies room, clothes washed and organized, toys and books put away, pictures hung and diapers bought. Nesting Indeed! So happy for our journey to bring Charlie home to be coming to a close with week.