When we met Charlie, I asked a lot of questions about him to his foster mom. I was trying my best to get a sense of who he was, his likes, his dislikes and how to care for him in a way he was accostomed. His foster mom answered as much she could and I caught about half of that given the interpreter and environment. What I did learn though, was that Charlie liked a specific blanket. I was told when he was tired he would crawl over to it and try to wrap himself up in it. He slept with it at both nap and bed time.
So, you can imagine my relief when his foster mom pulled it out on the day we got to take him. She said he loved it and she wanted to make sure he had it. Can I just say, I love her! From that first night in the Hotel in Seoul until last night when I tucked him into his bed, blanky as we refer to it, has been there. A few times I have washed it and then forgotten to put it in the dryer only to be reminded right at bedtime when blanky was no where to be found. It does not matter how many other soft, cuddly blankets I offer. Nothing will do until blanky is dry and wrapped in his arms.
"BLANKY!" We hear yelled all throughout the day.
This may sound weird but I think at times I have been a little jealous of blanky. This inanimate object was the only thing that would bring him comfort those first few months of grieving. This plaid, fleece piece of material is still what he calls out for when he gets hurt, is tired or has gotten in trouble.
It's not that he doesn't call for me it's just that he usually calls for blanky first or even after I am holding him, he wants both the blanket and me. Sometimes he is so concerned about getting his blanky when he gets hurt, he misses the fact that he is safe in my arms being comforted. He is too small to understand that other than the emotional connection he feels to it, blanky can do nothing for him. I get him water or food when he needs it, I wash the dirt from the scrape and bandage it, I kiss the owie, I tickle the tummy and all the while blanky just lays there.
There are days when I wish I had a blanket to curl up in and hide my face. To be safe in my own little world. Situations in life come along or people I encounter make me want to find a spot and wrap myself up until I don't have to deal with the bad, the hard, or the ugly parts of life. Or if I am honest, there are things about me I wish were covered up by a blanket. Thoughts I have, personality traits, words I say that are better left hiding where no one can hear or see them. But would that really do me any do good? It might temporarily fill a void or give me momentary relief but when I uncover my face the world, with all it's problems, is still there. I am still there and hiding will not change any of it; nor will putting my trust in anything other than Jesus.
And so I wonder if He, The Creator of the universe ever feels jealous when I continue to scream "BLANKY" first before I call for Him. What are we using other than Him to temporarily fill a void or give momentary relief? Adult blanky's come in many shapes and sizes. Overeating, drugs, alcohol, pills, lying, gossiping, overspending. Those are drastic examples but what about micromanaging my kids because of fear or constant anxiety over my health. How about never missing an exercise so I look or feel a certain way, or maybe just constantly scrolling on social media comparing or judging. Those hit closer to home. Are you over-working so you make a big paycheck because your so concerned about money and status?
Are we missing the fact that Jesus is there, comforting and guiding us. Are we too concerned about finding that blanket to notice Him? Do we know and remember Jehova Jirah, our Provider? Or are we wrapping ourselves up with so many other things?
It's not that in every situation the blanky is a bad thing. It's just that we need to remember and prioritize when we haul it out. So what would happen if we did lose blanky? Would we miss it? Would it be painful? Could we ever fall asleep again???
I bet if we called out to Him first, allowed Him to wrap Himself around us, to be delighted and comforted in His presence, we just might be so fufilled and busy doing what He intended all along that we forget about blanky just lying there in the corner.